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Sep. 19th, 2005 @ 09:50 pm My brilliant plans foiled again!
So, since I am poor as ass right now, I did the only thing that made sense-I went out and bought toys. *cries* Well, I found a Rosie the Riveter action figure! What choice did I have? I mean, she has a movable fist which fits perfectly into the ass of the Porky Pooper that Carolyn sent me for Christmas a year or two or three ago. *dies* I had so many ideas for amusing pictures. I was even going to take it to work with me and see if I could hold a kitten still long enough to...nevermind. So, I got home, took Rosie out of her box and set her next to Porky on my computer table, all ready for the grand photo shoot. I turn on my camera, press the shutter button....and nothing. The battery is dead. Take it out, replace it with the spare battery, and....nothing. BOTH of them are totally drained and will take all night to recharge. *sigh*

Tomorrow. :P
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Sep. 19th, 2005 @ 08:47 pm Back for a few more days!
*is really, seriously dead this time*

You know, as much as I hate the cold, windy, wet winter here I'm also SO glad when it comes because it means everything slows down a little and I'm not gone every weekend. Now I can ALMOST relax. LOL.
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Aug. 31st, 2005 @ 08:26 pm Wank.
BLEH, I've wanted to post in my LJ or on the Smartania boards for a couple weeks now, but haven't been able to because a) I have not had a real day off in two weeks until now, and b) my computer seems to be on its deathbed. I don't know what's wrong, but it's making funny noises, my DVD burner suddenly isn't working, I keep getting all sorts of error messages, and everything is just really really slow. Wah. :( On the bright side, I signed a contract with a company that makes posters (they wanted my photos!) and maybe, just MAYBE I can start making money soon. Woot.

So? Please pray for my computer, people. LOL.

*quietly burns porn collection to stack of CD-Rs labeled "Photography"*
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Aug. 15th, 2005 @ 11:37 pm Meme
I think I was tagged by [info]redwheel69.

Top 5 guilty pleasures
(Well, honestly, I don't feel guilty about any of them.)

1. Cookies and chocolate. I can't get away from them at work. *sucks stomach in* Oh, and Pocky.
2. Porn, yaoi, smut, etc.
3. Limewire. Photohop CS.
4. Taking 5-minute breaks here and there at work to read fiction, when I should be studying the Oregon driver's manual.
5. Smelly lotions and shower gel (I don't have a tub anymore-sob).

Top 5 dream jobs
1. The job I have now, but with tons of money. Okay, a moderate amount of money would do.
2. PAID photographer.
3. Someone paid to play with kittens.
4. Paid Smartanian.
5. Right now? Well, paid anything. LOL.

Top 5 drinks
1. It's in the 90s most every day now, so water.
2. Root beer!
3. Apple juice.
4. Green tea.
5. Red Bull, which I have recently discovered and prefer to coffee. It keeps me awake when I have to get up at ungodly hours.

Top 5 reasons to watch TV
1. DVDs.
2. VHS tapes (I still have a few I can't get on DVD.)
That's about all, since I get SHITTY reception from my antenna and it drives me nuts, so I never watch tv. Someday when I can afford it I'll just spring for cable.


Top 5 places you would like to live in 10 years
1. I'm pretty happy here, but it would be nice to live a little closer to Portland. Really most anywhere in the pacific northwest, except Seattle.
2. BC! I loved Vancouver and Victoria. Campbell River is a cute town, but a little small.
3. Southern California.
4. Germany/Austria.
5. It would be cool to at least visit Japan.

Top 5 most listened to albums (last month)
Oh gosh, I have not bought or burned a cd in ages. I've been listening to the same stuff I've had for a couple years, and the radio mostly.
1. My anime theme mix.
2. My jpop mix (mostly Gackt, Glay, L'arc en Ciel, and Kinki Kids)
3. My Gravitaion mix.
4. The Kill Bill Vol 1 soundtrack.
5. U2. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb was actually the last thing I bought.

Top 5 people you would like to be (or do)
1. A gunslinger.
2. Van or Allen from Esca.
3. Phaedre from the Kushiel books.
4. Aragorn from LOTR. You know, all kingly and noble and stuff. But, I'd rather have Legolas as my bitch.
5. Someone tall, thin, and elegant 'cause I'm so not.

Top 5 ... 10 years ago (1995)
1. I was seven years old and in third grade. AHHH! Scary thought.
2. I still lived in California.
3. I had no idea what fisting was, and had never seen a pig's ass up close. So innocent.
4. I had never seen anime.
5. I wanted a pony.

Top 5 ... 2 years ago (2003)
1. I was living in Denver. *blink* WAS that really 2003? God, it seems more like five years ago now.
2. I was depressed most of the time. LOL.
3. I was gaming and chatting with friends a lot, which was the only time I wasn't depressed.
4. I was plotting ways to get out of Denver.
5. I went to the huge bookstore downtown almost every day, which was one cool thing about the city.

Top 5 ... today
1. My day off! WOOO!
2. "Insomnia" by SK, borrowed from the library because I'm too poor to buy my books.
3. I had the bestest Dove mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert. Mmmmm.
4. I downloaded some hot lesbian porn on Limewire
5. I worked on my photography portfolio.
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Aug. 4th, 2005 @ 03:25 pm There, it's done.
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
I had my root canal today. WOOHOO! Now I only have to go back to the dentist one more time so they can finish the filling. Stupid teeth.
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Jul. 29th, 2005 @ 02:43 pm My once yearly update.
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
God, for the past few months I've been gone nearly every weekend. (This month, I can almost count on one hand the number of days I've been HOME). So, I was looking forward to coming back, but not for this reason. *sobs and pops another Vicodin* ajkbsfhfhkasjbfa TOOTH PAIN IS THE WORST FUCKING THING, EVER. I know Erika at least knows about this from Wisdom Tooth Hell. LOL. I have an absess and it got infected, so not only am I in constant, head-will-fucking-explode-any-minute-pain (if I don't take the painkillers) or nauseous, dizzy and loopy (if I take Vicodin), but the whole left side of my face is swollen up like a balloon. In fact, I look like this:



but without the peanut. Or the cuteness.

Well, I now have to go lie in bed for the next six hours and pretend to sleep. MEH.
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May. 8th, 2005 @ 11:51 am Sicky piggy.
Current Mood: sicksick
WAH. I finally got the cold that everyone I know around here has had for the past week or so. So, I'm stuck at home feeling generally crappy and not able to talk at all. *cough, hack* Gee, can't imagine what I'll be doing with my free time. LOL. *pulls blanket over lap, grabs three foot high stack of books* Finally got started on Across the Nightingale Floor and am enjoying it muchly. Heh.
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Apr. 29th, 2005 @ 09:42 pm Heh. Sweet.
Someone wants to pay me $250 a day for a photo shoot at a mini horse show. Just for the shoot and a proof sheet, not even including prints. DUDE! EASY MONEY! *humps camera*
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Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 09:58 pm *rises from the dead*
Bleh. It's 9:30 and I should go to bed soon, but I need to add something to my livejournal more than once every six months, or people will start to wonder if I'm still even alive. *waves arms in the air* I'M STILL HERE! HONEST!

Life has been just CRAZY lately. I can finally work again, now that my clavicle is mostly healed (Well-the bone has started to fuse together anyway). It was tough going from sitting around for a month doing almost nothing at all, to working sixteen hours a day on my feet with hardly a break. But? I'm still happy to be back doing what I love, and being with the people and animals I love (Really, how many people can say they want to spend MORE time with their co-workers or bosses? Probably not too many. LOL) . At the same time I'm, well, sort of depressed. I feel like I'm hardly making any progress in my riding, and I have to face the fact that there's no way I'll ever make decent money at my job, that it'll be a miracle if I can so much as break even and survive. So what then? Everyone seems to like my photography, and I've had several shots on the covers of popular magazines lately, but no one will pay for that either. It's also such a competitive field, the equipment is extremely expensive, it's time-consuming, etc... *sigh* I keep worrying that I'll end up working at Taco Bell or a crappy 9-5 job that I hate the rest of my life. Someone slap me. LOL.

I have to get my driver's license and a vehicle of some sort sooner or later. Gas is so horrifyingly expensive though, I'll most likely end up walking everywhere instead. jbfakljgfasgb

Also, I just miss my friends. I miss the people I used to talk to almost every day (you know who you are!), I miss hanging out on the boards, hearing about everyone's lives and so on. *sniff* Livejournal is the bestest thing in the world for that reason. I couldn't stay in touch otherwise.

~Pigfucker, moody, PMS-y, and most likely in need of a real vacation instead of an injury layup.
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Mar. 30th, 2005 @ 11:52 am Now I just need someone to operate the other end...
This was too amusing not to post somewhere.

Click for high tech cybersex!
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Feb. 14th, 2005 @ 04:41 pm Happy Farting Hearts Day!
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful


I especially love [info]jadegoat for sending me candy and cards. <3 <3 <3
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Feb. 7th, 2005 @ 09:03 pm Tards at Work
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Current Music: U2-Vertigo
Well, why have a Livejournal if you're not going to bitch about stupid coworkers, customers, bosses, etc? LOL.

There's a chick that comes to take longe lessons once a week here at my barn. What blows my mind is that she's a physicist (and apparently well respected in her field) and yet she cannot, for the life of her, learn the difference between side reins and a dog leash even though she's been riding (badly) for about four years. She's just an arrogant little cunt tard. The other day she spent an entire lesson arguing about EVERYTHING with the instructor. Now, if I was paying $65 an hour for someone's advice I'd probably want to listen carefully and take it to heart. At the very least, I'd give the teacher the common courtesy of not fucking interrupting her every five words to state my own ignorant, bassackwards opinions on a subject I hardly know. Sadly, this girl's ego is bigger than that off all suckfic writers combined. Examples I heard when walking past the arena:

Instructor: You're stiff in your hips, that's why Miles won't stay in the trot! Your pelvis must swing forward and up every stride. *explains patiently in great detail for the 17237813 time*
Stupid Cunt: No, this is just the wrong horse for me. You picked the wrong one.
Instructor: Uh...actually, you'll probably find you have the same problem with all the horses you ride. It's a universal issue that we all have to deal with, really.

Instructor: In order for the horse to move in balance, the rider must be balanced in the center of the saddle, with equal weight on both seat bones. You're leaning to the inside-that's why your circle is getting smaller and smaller!
Stupid Cunt: I really don't think I'm leaning. I can feel that I'm not.
Instructor: Our bodies can lie to us, though. What feels straight may be crooked and-
Stupid Cunt: I'M NOT LEANING!

Instructor: You ask for the up transition in three strides when the inside hind leg is on the ground. That would be now...now...now...
Stupid Cunt: The horse can't possibly respond that fast!
Instructor: Yes they can. *patiently explains again*
Stupid Cunt: No, they respond better when the inside hind is in the air.
Instructor: But, that's impossible because-
Stupid Cunt: No, you're WRONG, I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! THE WAY I DO IT WORKS BETTER!
Instructor: *sticks fork in eye*

Later, my teacher told me it was "a two beer lesson." LOL.
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Jan. 31st, 2005 @ 11:02 pm Meep.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
There, I updated my journal. It might just be one of the crappy default designs, but at least it's different! LOL. Now that I can post, though, it's bedtime. *sigh* I guess I should say something interesting first, but my brain turned itself off about an hour ago. So, instead, I'll just take a quiz.

Cute Brownish Kitten
Small, brown kitten
Look at it, take a
deep look into this poor things eyes. Every
time you masturbate you kill one of him, or
her. God knows what it is, but it's gonna be
dead soon, because of you. You sick, sick boy
(or girl).


Every time you masturbate... which kitten does god kill?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Nov. 20th, 2004 @ 11:55 am Oh my god, I'm posting something!
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: washing machine
Yeah.

Your Erotic LJ dream by cozzette
username
you went to bed feeling
You began to dream aboutjadegoat
who wasrecieving oral from you
ina stranger's house
withthier hands tied
which made youstiff/wet
but was interupted byloup_garou
who began toparticipate
You awokehoping you dont talk in your sleep
and you hopethat dreams do come true
chance of that happening:: 98%
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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Oct. 4th, 2004 @ 09:51 am Waaaaaah!
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: channel 8 news
So, I'm back and stuff. No, I didn't get to see the volcano erupting. All it's done is blow steam so far but an eruption with lava is imminent, and I'm in Oregon again. I WANTED PICTURES!!! Sorry Carolyn. :(
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Sep. 30th, 2004 @ 06:18 am Squeeeee!
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: none
I'm about to head out the door to go to the last horse show of the season in Washington. I'll be near Mt. St. Helens! Anyway, if it blows like they're saying it might, I'll be far enough away that I won't be drowned in lava but close enough to enjoy it and take pictures. :P VOLCANO. COOL.
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Sep. 20th, 2004 @ 10:08 am Didja miss me?
Current Mood: weirdweird
I was gone for four days at the Oregon Dressage Society championships working as #1 slave. Anyway, on Saturday I went to the cocktail party. I wore a.... a....

A DRESS.

Yeah, Sara wore a dress. A glittery pink and black one. With heels. And makeup. And jewelry. There is even photographic proof (but you'll never, ever see it! HAHAHAHA!)

How's everyone else?
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Sep. 12th, 2004 @ 10:50 pm Quizzy!
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Depeche Mode-Personal Jesus (I don't wanna sound gay or nothin')
My lj wedding by chynafox
username
age
city
you will marry_kikumaru_
flower girlnerbie
best manjadegoat
bridesmaidthemer
you will have your last fling withkyoukichi
registrarsushai
secretly wants to marry you themselfpkwench
date of the weddingOctober 21, 2033
number of times you do it on your wedding night39
Quiz created with MemeGen!


Heather and I are getting married the day after my birthday. AWWWW! I don't know how this will make Erika feel, since I'm supposed to marry her too. I guess she'll have to take Jeff back after our fling. :P

(Carolyn? What are you waiting for? I'm still single....)
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Sep. 10th, 2004 @ 09:22 pm A random observation...
The brand of the t-shirt I wore today is Carolyn Taylor. Seriously. Did you know you had your own clothing line, Carolyn? :P
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Sep. 1st, 2004 @ 09:36 pm *Shameless self promotion*
http://www.horseofkings.com/ads/ritter.gif

My photo is in the ad of the new issue of Horse of Kings. Barnes & Noble will be picking the magazine up soon, so you may see it in a bookstore near you! *cough*

I really need to do something with this LJ. The pathetic layout is really making me sad, but I don't have even $5 to get a paid account. LOL. *changes colors again*
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